The phrase “ability to convey information from one person to another” would commonly surface in people’s minds when they define communication. Indeed, many can define communication correctly and communicate with one another easily but how many are able to communicate effectively or appreciate the benefits of it? Probably not many. Those who can convey their message well and listen actively are usually more confident than those who do not master these skills. Therefore, being equipped with effective communication skills, one will enjoy confidence boosts and strengthened relationships.
When I was younger, a misconception I had was that the speaker plays a more crucial role than the listener in determining how successful communication was. It was an incident which made me realize that the role of the listener is equally as important as the speaker during the communication process. I was reprimanded by a friend for being a bad listener. Every time she speaks, I seldom give her the attentive silence a good listener should provide and I would interrupt her speech. The barriers I created hindered effective communication between us. Through Thursday’s class, I realized the difference between hearing and active listening. Back then, I have been hearing my friend’s problems but not processing them.
In today’s sophisticated society, being able to communicate effectively both orally and in written forms is the key to success. Having started to appreciate that, I know I have to begin overcoming my fears. I get very shy and jittery when it comes to presenting to an unfamiliar audience so sometimes I cannot express my thoughts clearly and concisely. Hence, I tend to avoid presentations actively. Finally in this semester, I plucked up my utmost courage to register for ES2007S in the attempt to overcome these fears. I hope that with the skills benefitted from ES2007S, I will grow to become a confident woman and foster strong relationships in both my workplace and my personal life.
Hi Sam,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that possessing effective communication skills will make someone appear more confident and allow one to enjoy fulfilling relationships. It is also true that many people take communication skills for granted and as a result their social and work lives are affected.
When you were sharing your story in your post, it reminded me that I share the same misconception that you had. I used to believe that being a listener, whether passive or active, is being a good friend because good friends listen to each other’s troubles. However I was deeply mistaken. As a result, I am poor speaker and find it hard to communicate my thoughts across and share my ideas. I became someone who did not know how and when to share my thoughts; I became a not-so- good friend as I imagined I would be.
Therefore, I am choosing to take this module and hope that with the help of the tutor and the dynamic environment, I would become a better communicator. Let’s work hard together to achieve that goal! :)
Dear Samantha, this is a fairly concise post you'd written, so give yourself a pat on the back for that!
ReplyDeleteYou'd shared why active listening is equally as important in effective communication as the act of communicating, and illustrated the point with a fitting example - I must say that it is a very persuasive approach indeed. As the saying goes, it takes two hands to clap; so without the effort of both the speaker and the listener to ensure that effective communication has taken place, it may all be just an 'illusion' indeed (lifting a thoughtful quote by George Bernard Shaw that Kai Liang has shared in his post).
Thanks for your sharing - I'm looking forward to your next post!
Hi Sam~
ReplyDeleteThere's no doubt that by being able to convey the message well, the speaker will get a confidence boost. This is especially true when i look back at the time when i did a presentation. I might have made enough preparation to understand the material well, but once i observed that the audience seemed confused, somehow all the confidence faded away.
And to be honest, i think there are a lot of people who had (or perhaps still have) a misconception that a speaker plays more crucial role in communication. But it is clear that such a situation is changing, and now there are a lot of messages of being a good listener.
So, through this module, let's learn to overcome those fears when we act as a speaker, and also learn to be an active listener.
Dear Sam,
ReplyDeleteHello! Thanks for sharing your experience. I enjoyed reading your blog and I am definitely going to come back again! =)
You highlighted the importance of active listening, which touches me deep to my heart because I am also a learner in becoming a good listener. I can’t agree with you more that to hear what other says does not equal to listening to them. I realized that I tend to forget what others have told me about. I missed out the decode process where we put meanings to what others have said! This hinders me from building strong relationship with others.
Well, we are not alone. Thanks to my friends that have not run away, knowing that I am a very boring person to talk to due to my lack of skills in communicating with others, we are now encouraging each other to learn and face our fear in communication. I believe that the same goes to you! Let’s work hard together!
Dear Sam,
ReplyDeleteIt is great to hear that you have committed to pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in order to improve your communication skills.
I can understand and relate to your statement about "hearing your friend's problems but not processing them". When I was in my early formative years, I would always wonder why my mum would constantly nag at me. She would repeat herself, even though I showed that I clearly heard her the very first time. At first, I thought that it was just something that the older generation did because they were hard of hearing or needed repetition to boost their memory.
However as I grew older, I reflected and realised that the emotional message and the information that came across during a nag were in-congruent. Whilst the basic information could be something as simple as "please pick up your clothes", the emotional message was one of "frustration". This was not only separate from my first hypothesised purpose of a neg, the constancy of it across various nagging episodes irked me. Of course I eventually figured out that my mum was only repeating herself because she didn’t feel that her message was getting through. Consequently, my relationship with her improved over the years through the application of active listening skills.
Incidentally, active listening is one of the skills that professional negotiators as well as mediators have to learn. In many cases of conflicts, talks break down because parties feel that they are not being heard. They feel that their emotional needs are not being addressed and they walk out on the negotiation. One way to resolve this is through active listening. Another way to circumvent this is to write down the concerns on the various parties (on a board) so that they are assured that their interests will be tabled in the session.
-Kim Soon (Ivan)